I thought I should start this blog with my story leading up to its birth. I felt inclined to write about my experience, more for myself to get it all out in the open and close off a Chapter. So here it is.
This has indeed been a crazy few months.
Around late last year i "re-united" with my ex, and by that i mean we started talking again and decided to be "close friends". We seemed to do a lot of deciding around at that time, probably to try and make up for last time, because we also decided, rather spontaneously, to take trip together in Asia for about a month. I went to Sri Lanka with my family first to visit my rellies as usual; he joined me there (while my folks treated him like an Australian Prince :P) then jetted off to Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam, ending right where I began; Hong Kong. It was a strange experience to say the least. Through constant quarrels and silly little immature ego-fights of the "i know something you don't, you're so stupid" variety, not to mention the constant put-downs and ridicule, i was weary and emotionally exhausted, and wondered secretly how I got into all this.
Now don't get me wrong - I did have some very enjoyable and memorable experiences on that trip. One being singing a two part harmony of 'Woods' by Bon Iver in our tiny box-room in Hong Kong (great acoustics i must say). But all along it felt as if i was in a constant fight; me reinforncing my psychic walls with cement, he axing away at them and trying to convince himself that "slow and steady wins the race". He is an incredibly decent and beautiful guy - just our energies are entirely different and don't match. We try and try, but no matter how much we both want to, we just couldn't seem to connect. Theres a distinct division that could never be filled - no matter how much he "develops" himself or tries to "grow" into me (his words, which for my experience makes it all the more heartbreaking). [Side note: He told me that after meeting me he grew so much, and thus he was scared to 'lose me'. Maybe my role was to simply be a growth catalyst and this is why he came to me. And my job was already done. His was to teach me to respect & value myself, but more on that later.]
Nearing the end of our trip, while listening to my mp3 player (note to self, must put happier music on mp3) he burst into tears and dramatically exclaimed "I've wasted two years of my life". Ouch. Talk about being hurtful and just a bit selfish. But I simply comforted him. I know his character - and there wasn't much of a point in doing otherwise. "You're born in this flashy, showy city and I'm born in some bogan town in Northern NSW". That pretty much sums it up; we come from two entirely different ends of the spectrum, with completely different sets of life experiences, influences and cultural and religious backgrounds.
I got a call two days before I was due to return to Australia from a frantic colleague informing me that my landlord "cant guarantee the safety of my belongings". I scratched my head. I then proceeded to try and contact her. Apparently, she decided to kick everyone out of the house, and even more apparently, none of my flatmates bothered to inform me of this slightly daunting news. I returned home exhausted and headed straight for my house to pack up my belongings and move back to my parents house, which just months before, I ran away from in a heaty, hurtful dispute. I was confused, unhappy and frightened of what may lie ahead (will my relationship with my parents bubble up into a toxic emotional explosion like it did before? And if so, where would i go then? Who did I really have to turn to?)
It was still two weeks before I was due to return to my even more bleak, grey-office government job. I researched frantically on anything and everything I could get my curious little mouse on that would restore my hope and give me meaning, that could somehow help me move on in life, to fill up the empty, hopeless feeling that so prevalently takes over me at all the worst possible moment. Like the ones where I really need to muster up all the hope I can get and confidently take a step forward.
I came across the fan page of a man who added me on Facebook a while ago that I hadn't previously paid much attention to, who claimed to do soul realignment readings and clearings. I hadn't heard of such a thing before and my naturally skeptic engineering mind went into first gear. But I could certainly use a "clearing" and definitely a "realignment", I thought to myself. Unfortunately I had a bit of a 'spat' with him and decided he wasnt exactly the best person for me to get such a personal reading from. Nevertheless, the more I read up on these readings, the more I was drawn into it. It seemed to answer exactly the types of questions I had been asking my whole life, and particularly within the last two years of it. My gut told me I had come across this at the right time and I just hadn't found the right person to do a reading for me yet. I researched Soul Realignment and its practitioners until I came across this lovely lady. I read from her blog that she was the same age as me, English, had just left Brisbane (darn!), and had been living in New Zealand and Spain. I found the little synchronicities and mirroring life paths to be a bit too much of a coincidence and within a few days I booked a reading with her for a Soul Realignment and clearing without another thought.
And the rest, as they say, is history. Haha. No really, Part 2 continues in my next post. :D
This has indeed been a crazy few months.
Around late last year i "re-united" with my ex, and by that i mean we started talking again and decided to be "close friends". We seemed to do a lot of deciding around at that time, probably to try and make up for last time, because we also decided, rather spontaneously, to take trip together in Asia for about a month. I went to Sri Lanka with my family first to visit my rellies as usual; he joined me there (while my folks treated him like an Australian Prince :P) then jetted off to Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam, ending right where I began; Hong Kong. It was a strange experience to say the least. Through constant quarrels and silly little immature ego-fights of the "i know something you don't, you're so stupid" variety, not to mention the constant put-downs and ridicule, i was weary and emotionally exhausted, and wondered secretly how I got into all this.
Now don't get me wrong - I did have some very enjoyable and memorable experiences on that trip. One being singing a two part harmony of 'Woods' by Bon Iver in our tiny box-room in Hong Kong (great acoustics i must say). But all along it felt as if i was in a constant fight; me reinforncing my psychic walls with cement, he axing away at them and trying to convince himself that "slow and steady wins the race". He is an incredibly decent and beautiful guy - just our energies are entirely different and don't match. We try and try, but no matter how much we both want to, we just couldn't seem to connect. Theres a distinct division that could never be filled - no matter how much he "develops" himself or tries to "grow" into me (his words, which for my experience makes it all the more heartbreaking). [Side note: He told me that after meeting me he grew so much, and thus he was scared to 'lose me'. Maybe my role was to simply be a growth catalyst and this is why he came to me. And my job was already done. His was to teach me to respect & value myself, but more on that later.]
Nearing the end of our trip, while listening to my mp3 player (note to self, must put happier music on mp3) he burst into tears and dramatically exclaimed "I've wasted two years of my life". Ouch. Talk about being hurtful and just a bit selfish. But I simply comforted him. I know his character - and there wasn't much of a point in doing otherwise. "You're born in this flashy, showy city and I'm born in some bogan town in Northern NSW". That pretty much sums it up; we come from two entirely different ends of the spectrum, with completely different sets of life experiences, influences and cultural and religious backgrounds.
I got a call two days before I was due to return to Australia from a frantic colleague informing me that my landlord "cant guarantee the safety of my belongings". I scratched my head. I then proceeded to try and contact her. Apparently, she decided to kick everyone out of the house, and even more apparently, none of my flatmates bothered to inform me of this slightly daunting news. I returned home exhausted and headed straight for my house to pack up my belongings and move back to my parents house, which just months before, I ran away from in a heaty, hurtful dispute. I was confused, unhappy and frightened of what may lie ahead (will my relationship with my parents bubble up into a toxic emotional explosion like it did before? And if so, where would i go then? Who did I really have to turn to?)
It was still two weeks before I was due to return to my even more bleak, grey-office government job. I researched frantically on anything and everything I could get my curious little mouse on that would restore my hope and give me meaning, that could somehow help me move on in life, to fill up the empty, hopeless feeling that so prevalently takes over me at all the worst possible moment. Like the ones where I really need to muster up all the hope I can get and confidently take a step forward.
I came across the fan page of a man who added me on Facebook a while ago that I hadn't previously paid much attention to, who claimed to do soul realignment readings and clearings. I hadn't heard of such a thing before and my naturally skeptic engineering mind went into first gear. But I could certainly use a "clearing" and definitely a "realignment", I thought to myself. Unfortunately I had a bit of a 'spat' with him and decided he wasnt exactly the best person for me to get such a personal reading from. Nevertheless, the more I read up on these readings, the more I was drawn into it. It seemed to answer exactly the types of questions I had been asking my whole life, and particularly within the last two years of it. My gut told me I had come across this at the right time and I just hadn't found the right person to do a reading for me yet. I researched Soul Realignment and its practitioners until I came across this lovely lady. I read from her blog that she was the same age as me, English, had just left Brisbane (darn!), and had been living in New Zealand and Spain. I found the little synchronicities and mirroring life paths to be a bit too much of a coincidence and within a few days I booked a reading with her for a Soul Realignment and clearing without another thought.
And the rest, as they say, is history. Haha. No really, Part 2 continues in my next post. :D